Embracing Bella
Living here for the better part of three years now, we find ourselves reflecting on how Italy has changed us. For the most part, we are inherently the same people with the same interests and quirks. We like to think so anyway. But we’ve experienced a significant shift in our internal cultural mindset.
I first wrote about ‘Piano, Piano’ or the culture shock of running full tilt 24/7 to halting to a slow, calm, relaxed state of mind when we first began our journey living here. Now, it seems, we have fully transitioned to the Italian lifestyle.
We have taken on most of the traits of Italians. We have soaked up the culture enough that it pours out of us and, truth be told, we tend to be the ones telling American guests, friends and family to “Piano, Piano”.
Aside from being more ‘tranquilio’, we have embraced ‘la bella figura’. Literally translated as ‘the beautiful figure’, the meaning goes well beyond visual beauty. La bella figura is all-encompassing. It’s behaving properly in all social settings, being gracious to all you encounter and exhibiting good manners. Perhaps it can be summed up as continuously leaving a good impression. It’s exuding modesty. It’s being cool.
I no longer go out with wet hair. Flip flops are relegated to house and pool. My yoga pants are truly for exercise and cleaning my house. We say hello to everyone we meet. We speak in hushed voices at restaurants and control our laughter. We enjoy two glasses of wine during dinner, instead of power chugging two bottles. We take all alcohol with food and are mindful of wine and food pairings. No matter how busy we are, we stop to chat with pensioners in our village to make sure they are doing okay. We offer coffee or drinks to friends and newly made acquaintances. We set the perfect table replete with linens even for a snack. We have a mat for Elliot to sit on at restaurants and bars…after all, Elliot must also live ‘la bella figura’.
Not to sound snobbish, but when you truly embrace ‘la bella figura’, you realize that so much of American culture and behavior, displayed here in Italy, is ‘brutta’. La brutta figura translates as ‘ugly or bad showing’. Looking unkept, drinking to excess, speaking loudly, being snarky or unkind - all brutta. Looking back, we clearly made missteps over the many years we visited. Admittedly, it wasn’t until we lived here that we really understood how important the quest for la bella figura is and began enforcing our own ‘don’t be brutta’ checks for fear of embarrassing ourselves or others.
You see, while we are Americans, we are no longer tourists; we live in Italy now. It’s beyond important that we not only understand Italy’s cultural rules, but it is essential that we live by them. It’s part of having an authentic experience. We leave the ‘excesses’ home in America, and opt to be humble and controlled. Life here is tranquil, calm, slow. It suits us perfectly. And to speak frankly, the simple act of having to get up, do my hair and makeup, get dressed for the day (instead of throwing my hair in a messy, unbrushed ponytail donning yoga pants and flip flops) just to take Elliot out for his morning walk; instantly puts me in a better, happier, frame of mind.
I’m not sure that avoiding brutta constitutes 100% bella figura, but I know it’s a start. Embracing la bella figura certainly leads to living ‘la bella vita’ and feeling beautiful inside and out. Che bella!
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